“That’s just not my thing”

“Love is not easy, not comfortable but love is more beautiful when it undergoes changes”. – Nse Ikpe-Etim

I believe that one of the things that make a marriage or relationship to last long is, knowing who your partner is and not expecting or assuming you’ll make him/her change.

Jack and Rose have been together for 3 years and on all special occasions, whether Jack was in town or not, Rose never got any gifts or cards. The most she’d ever gotten was a love note, and at the time, they were having a mini fight.

To be fair, Rose had known that birthdays, and other “special days” didn’t mean anything to Jack. Most of his family members didn’t even remember their own birthdays. Others had to check their birth certificate when asked. So yes, she had a clue.

But why did she feel so sad this time around. Jack called to say “Happy Valentine’s” , but that was it. They met up later in the day and spoke for some time. A few hours later, Rose said, “I’m going home”. Jack asked for a goodbye kiss or hug, but Rose shrugged and walked away.

Rose had reminded Jack of Valentine’s Day everyday for the past 2 weeks. She wasn’t expecting much. All she wanted to see was effort. Nothing expensive, something simple, basic, it didn’t matter.

Jack called a million times later that night, which meant he knew Rose wasn’t happy, but he didn’t ask. Rose answered each time he called and they talked of random things. The next morning, Jack called and asked, “Were you angry cause I didn’t get you anything for Valentines?” Rose said “No”. Then he blurted, “ I’m sorry, but you know that’s just not my thing”.

Charity begins at home

As far back as I can remember,the one prayer point I never fail to say each day is,…“Father Lord, bless me and bless the people around me. Also, bless me so that I can be a blessing to everyone around me”. I say this like an anthem, subconsciously.

I school in the University of Nigeria and every now and then, actually everyday, blind, deaf, dumb, epileptic, critically ill, basically people with different kinds of illnesses walk into our classrooms to solicit for financial aid. It isn’t uncommon to us. We have gotten accustomed to it.

For me, I’ve been on this campus since 2012 and I believe I’ve become familiar with a couple of faces.

Being on campus for this long, I’ve come across some of these people whom I’ve seen before, perhaps in 2015 and they come in and repeat the same stories, atimes with the same photographs (in cases like victims who were set ablaze). This made me wonder if they were making these stories up.

For some time I decided I wouldn’t help the familiar ones and other times I gave reluctantly. I was really skeptical about the whole situation.

Fast forward to a few months ago, I was in deep thought, wondering when God would bless me financially to be able to help others and then a thought was laid in my heart. “Everyday you have more than enough money in your purse to last you the whole day, that extra 500 or 1000naira can put a huge smile on someone’s face”.

It isn’t our duty to decipher if someone is telling us the truth or not. If you are in a position to help, give freely. Give with a cheerful heart.

You want 1 million? Who have you helped with the 1000 you have? Charity, they say, begins at home.

P.S. Home in this context means your immediate surrounding,

Love and light,

Pinkhy

 

New year resolutions Versus goals

Its less than 48 hours into 2018 and of course I’m pretty excited. For me, one of the best parts of a new year is making my resolutions just like the rest of the world. Unfortunately, by April I’ve usually forgotten what my resolutions are. I feel resolutions are too safe. Most times wheb you don’t achieve them (assuming you even remember what they were), you’re still chill about it. They aren’t authoritative.

After I noticed how laidback I was about resolutions, I decided to switch things up.  So in 2017, I decided to ditch making resolutions and i set goals. I wrote them out and allocated to frames to each one. I was a precise about each one.

For the outcome; I achieved a major part of my goals within the last few months of the year. I had a lot I pitfalls and setbacks along the way but overall, I made progress.

Without further ado, setting goals wins. Now, setting goals I pretty easy but the key to achieving it is: you gotta be very precise. What is your game plan for 2018? What exactly do you want to achieve? When do you want to achieve it? Is it even possible to achieve this? You have to answer all those questions.

Using two examples;

Normally I would write: Gain weight before the end of 2016. This is a very wrong approach because I wouldn’t achieve it. I might an up gaining too much.

The proper way: Gain 10kg before June. In reality, I don’t really need to gain 10kg before June, but having it at the back of my head makes me get closer to my ideal weight.

Another example;

Normally I would write: I want to write more articles this year. This is so vain. Its empty.

Instead write: I want to write 96 articles this year, 8 each month and twice a week. This I very attainable and realistic depending on your schedule.

Bottomline is: know yourself. Know how far you can stretch yourself. Set realistic goals and be very specific.

I hope you achieve your goals this new year and i wish you an amazing year ahead.

xx,

Pinkhy

 

 

I cowashed my hair with rice water

For over 2 months, I’ve been completely obsessing over everything about the Chinese. Their attire, good, culture, everything. I dont think it’s possible to mention China without talking about rice.Rumour has it that rice water is very nourishing for the hair. It’s said to contain a carbohydrate called inositol and this helps in repairing damaged hair. As I’m one to always try new things, especially if it’s organic, I immediately tried this out.

              Ingredients

Uncooked rice

Water

              Preparation

Rinse the rice with little water to remove any impurities. Then soak rice in water and leave for about 30 minutes. Once the time’s up, knead it gently. By now all the vitamins would be fully immersed in the water. Proceed to sieve it. The finished product is gooey-ish and cloudy. You can store it in your refrigerator for a week.

               How to use

Now cowashing is simply washing your hair with conditioner instead of shampoo. So I poured the rice water on my hair and gently massaged my scalp and hair. After that, I rinsed my hair with plain warm water. That’s it.

You can also use this process after shampooing. Sometimes i add lavender essential oil to the mix. You can never go wrong with oil. I think rice water answers all the questions normal conditioner does. It strengthens your hair, leaves it soft and shiny. It also adds a little bit of volume to the hair. The softness effect is usually felt almost immediately.

I really love it and have definitely included it into my haircare routine.

Have you ever washed your hair with rice Water?

How to declutter your life before 2018

I believe the best way to round up a year and prepare for the next is by decluttering. Out with the old and in with the new right? By now,you should be able to tell I like to be super prepared for certain every major event. When it comes to New years, I’m always very excited. So happy! Who wouldn’t? Maybe I usually go a bit overboard with the excitement though but I mean, it’s a fresh start. A clean slate! Nothing makes me feel so good like being given another opportunity. So why not start it with a clear mind, soul and environment?

Here’s a few of my major declutter tips for the new year;

Gadgets: Where do i even start? The number of pictures and messages on my phone is very alarming. I recently grouped them according to folders and deleted the unnecessary ones. I didn’t even know how many newsletters I was subscribed to not until recently. Guys, you need to unsubscribe from all those unwanted emails. I just hate it when my email is filled with crap. It feels so disorganized. To think I check my emails every morning yet I feel so overwhelmed each time i open it. So any picture, application, song or message not in use needs to go. Give yourself a digital detox.

Wardrobe: I started sorting and giving out clothes i didn’t need anymore since August. I don’t even have any money to replace them. Lol but the truth is: some clothes are just occupying my precious space. If you haven’t worn it in a year, chances are, you probably won’t wear it again. Give it out or send it to those cousins in the village. You never know, maybe when you create space, money will appear for an upgrade. Lol. On the plus side, I always feel really happy when I give out my clothes to certain people because they’re so happy and appreciative.  Like I said, enlightened selfishness is key. Seriously, y’all should practice it.

People: Are people meant to be decluttered? Probably not but it’s very crucial to have only people who genuinely care about you in your life.This step is usually the hardest for me because i feel like I’m always thinking about other people’s feelings and ignoring mine. If “a friend” is always criticising you, dump him/her asap. You need only roses in your life. Life itself already has a lot of thorns. You don’t need anymore thorns.Stay in touch with people that spread postivity around you. Another thing is: if you’ve hurt someone, New year is always an excuse to get back in touch and apologise. Grab that opportunity.

Social Media: Most people follow people who make them feel bad about themselves. Why though? I mean, if looking at someone’s picture is gonna make you feel bad about yourself, unfollow them. Stop feeding yourself criticism. It’s very poisonous to the soul. Follow people who inspire you and make you want to live your best life.

Your turn; what other ways do you declutter before the new year? 

3 Enugu Flea Markets Every Fashion Girl Visits

I almost always find myself at flea markets when I’m on a tight budget but still want to be the eye-candy at an event(but when am I ever not on a tight budget?) Flea markets are my go-to for the coolest, cheapest and most unique pieces.

Side bar: I always forget that i develop migraines anytime I’m at flea markets. Mostly because it’s usually overcrowded. In the past, I used to shy away from flea markets because  people looked down on them but I just can’t subscribe to that ideology anymore. From Calvin Klein shorts(probably form the previous season but who cares) to majorena tops to collectibles, these 3 flea markets in Enugu are sure-bets for unique pieces. Best part is: admission is free. Feel free to stop by anyone when you’re in town.

Here are my top favourites:

Ogbete Main Market: Before you say anything (you’re about to say “that place looks horrible”), I know the optics are terrible but this isn’t about optics. Dig in!! This is my all-time favourite. Every single vendor has lots and lots of amazing pieces. Anytime I’m here, I’m usually dragged away by my cousins because  there are just too many amazing finds. You literally don’t even need to haggle. The prices are so low.

Where: Ogbete opposite Holy Ghost, Enugu

Day: Everyday except Sundays. For new arrivals: Wednesday and Friday. Don’t miss it.

Time: 4pm to 7:30pm

Mayor market: You can’t imagine the look on my face when I saw a Celine bag for 1,500(about $5). What a steal! I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was a little dusty but still in very good shape. That’s the kind of stuff you find here. You have to sift through every store properly. Take your time.

Where: 200 Agbani road, uwani, Enugu

Day: Everyday except sundays.

Time: 5pm to 7pm

New market: I rarely visit this only because it’s a bit too far for me. There’s a decent number of vendors with pieces ranging from beautiful beads and clothes to artwork.

Where:’ Coal camp, Enugu

Day: Everyday except sundays

Time: 5pm to 7:30pm

photo credit: http://www.pinterest.com

Do you do flea markets? What’s your favourite?

 

 

Why you need a massage hammer

Calling all overly stressed people. I’ve got the solution to de-stressing in 10 minutes. To be sincere, when I saw the pack of this massage hammer, I thought it was a toilet handle(dumb me). I never really opened it till last month.

First and foremost, it was so pretty and sleek looking. Then I tried it on my skin, my neck and back to be precise, you bet I never stopped using it. Bottom line is…it works.

Why I use it?

Better sleep: I was dealing with insomnia. Found it really hard to fall asleep. Anytime I useit (with the help of my sister), I fall asleep easily.

Eases muscle pain: if you have a particular muscle or part of the body that’s aching. This is your sure bet home remedy. It relieves you of an pain instantly and aids in better circulation of blood.

Relieves stress:this is the perfect stress reliever. Better still, it can be done at home and it’s very handy. A little bit heavy I think (everything is heavy for me…it probably isnt) 

Other reasons to use it:

Improves energy, helps with arthritis, cervical vertebra pain and lots more.

How to use

My hack when using this is…i oil my skin with coconut oil. I noticed it gives maximum effect. You can use any oil you prefer.

The device is electrical…so you’ll have to plug it to a switch.  It has a speed button, so you can adjust preferably to which speed level you want.

You shouldn’t use it for more than 15 minutes. I’m guessing this might be because of its infra-red ray ability. 15 minutes is even too long. You’ll get it done in less.

Have you tried using a massage hammer?How’d it feel? Let me know in the comment section.

5-step guide to saving money during the holidays

I know, I know, you’re probably wondering, why shouldn’t I just splurge on all the things I’ve been wanting? Absolutely yes! You can but I’m an avid believer in the bigger picture. I don’t want to buy everything I want and end up being broke in January. My peace of mind is very crucial to my existence.

After a not-so-hard exam, I went shopping with a friend (well, I just escorted her). When we got back, she kept complaining about how I made her feel so bad. I asked why and she said, I had only one shopping bag while she had almost 5. I made her feel like she spent too much money.

So, here is my 5-step guide to saving money:

Make a budget: Its all about specifics. How much do you want to spend? 10,000 or 20,000 naira or more? Write it down. Now that you’ve written it down, make up your mind that this is all you’ll spend no matter what. If you like put the money in a separate account so you wouldn’t be tempted to use any more from any other account.

Create a shopping list: it makes so much difference when you have a list with you. You’ve already made a budget, now write a list and allocate the prices to them. It gives you a clearer picture and it prevents you from buying unnecessary things.

Online shopping and Sales: I endulge in this more often than I admit. Black Friday, Cyber Monday, holiday sales and lots more….Things are a lot cheaper. I do a lot of research to scan for prices…from Jumia to Amazon to Kings, pay porte. Jumia will be having sales till December 13th…how amazing is that? Shop till you drop. Anyways, my point is…you can get things for cheaper prices.

Thrift shop: Guyssss….thrifting is a major way to get things for wayyyy cheaper prices. Because they’ve been used before doesn’t mean they aren’t valuable anymore. My sister got this amazing Lagos edition monopoly set and 2-year journal from a thrift store in Enugu and they both cost about 2500. They looked so new and were in good shape. Great bargain! Thrifting is the way forward.

Flashy gifts are not compulsory: Holiday season is a time to be happy and show much love to one another. It’s all from the heart. The thing about flashy gifts is…there’s always going to be something flashier (if that’s a word). Give purposeful gifts with a loving heart.

This is how I’ve managed to not go broke over the years. How are you saving during the holidays?

What’s in my bag: Harmattan Edition

A few days ago, I met up with a friend and while we were leaving, I remembered I had a little problem with my phone. So we went into the closest store to fix the problem. I remember being asked for several documents which thank God I had with me and my friend just blurted out…”pinkhy, are you ever not prepared?”

My point is…I carry alot of basic important stuff in my bag all the time. So you’re wondering now…What’s in my bag? 

Wallet: I always have this on me. Everything from cash to atm cards to lots and lots of IDs are usually in here. I also usually carry my passports around. It’s been really helpful over the years. I love this lorenz purse because it has multi spaces for IDs and business cards.

Planner and pen: Again and again guys, never underestimate the power of a planner. It works like magic. When it comes to pens, I think I get a new one almost daily because strangers always borrow and forget to return. *sigh*

Harmattan Essentials

Sunglasses: Do I even have to say why? The sun is just too much for my eyes and you’ll need it for the dust that comes with this weather.

Lipgloss: I love this slightly tinted Mary Kay lipgloss. To keep the lips soft and supple. I got it for about 1500 naira.

Lotion: it’s the season when your skin turns white and breaks every now and then. I carry this clinique moisture surge with me all the time. It’s very light on the skin. Perfect for relieving your skin of thirst and it has a slightly subtle aura.

Tablet and Power bank: Power banks are life savers. Very very handy. I like to work and study on my tab during any spare time I get.

Keys and Hair pins

Lastly, I can’t leave the house without a handkerchief. It’s very essential to me.

I really don’t like carrying bags and try as much as possible to carry it only when necessary (sadly, which is almost everyday). Any chance I get to not carry a bag, you’d see me with only my phone and an atm card. I love the simple life.

Well, that’s it. What do you always carry in your bag? I’d love to know.

Packing Guide: How to pack quickly for a weekend trip.

You know how some people question if packing experts exist? Well, they do(raising my hand). I’m right here.

The first half of this year, i went on a lot of unplanned trips. Mostly during the weekends. I like to think that i’ve mastered the art of impromptu packing. Packing can be mentally draining especially when you have a ton of other things to do.  Well, thank me later because i am at your service. Bringing you the ultimate packing guide:

First things first, you ought to have a packing checklist. A packing checklist is the only thing that keeps me sane while packing. Its something i started since my high school days. Just type in a list of essential things you’ll need when travelling and save it in your phone. Ever since i made this checklist, i have never had to spend any unnecessary cash because i never forget any essential item.

Invest in small pouches. Just like makeup purses. I like my things organized so i usually group items together. For example, i have a toiletry pouch where i put my toothpaste, brush, soap and sponge. I also have an accessory pouch. The point is, it makes everything to be easily accessible and organized. Organisation is key.Outfit: Once you’ve packed the essentials, you can now start thinking of the specifics which is mainly the clothing and shoes. Sort your outfits according to the type of trip. If its a girls trip, think casuals with comfy footwear and party outfit with a pair of heels. It all depends on the type of trip. Another point to note is, ensure you carry extra clothes. You just never know what might come up. Make space for an additional day. Just in case.

Luggage: You can’t pack without a medium-size box or bag. Invest in one today.

Packing should be easy and fun. Just have a checklist, turn up the music and you’re good to go.Do you have a packing checklist?